Tag Archives: reality TV

Nanny vs. No Nanny

The Real Housewives of Atlanta (RHoA) keeps me going on Sunday nights while folding laundry, tidying backpacks, and semi-gagging while cleaning out lunch boxes with old containers*.

I’ve been wanting to write about Kordell and Porsha’s family planning, gender roles, career vs. stay-at-home-mom, and “nope, no nanny” discussions – but I was shy about you all seeing just how deep my love of the RHoA is. Yup, I watch it, dissect it, love it, hate it – and then write about it (when I catch up on my DVR queue).

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Ok – back to Kordell and Porsha…

They have been married since 2011. Unfortunately Porsha suffered a miscarriage, but in this current season of the RHoA, their doctor said they were ready to get back to baby making. This is great news except Kordell, in my opinion, is too controlling, overbearing, and out of touch with all that goes into raising children and having a thriving family.

Porsha expresses her desire to do charity work, continue to maintain their home, keep her body fit, raise the baby, and take care of her husband. She talks about hiring a nanny to help her do this and also having her mother come in to support her from time to time.

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As I watched, I’m thinking,

Porsha, you are smart. All moms need support. Yup, multigenerational support is fantastic. I hope you set up a great system with your mom – heck, both sets of grandparents if that’s an option.

Well, my upbeat multigenerational thinking came to a quick halt when Kordell told Porsha there would be no nanny care, no mother (grandmother) support, and no career doing charity work. He told her it was her job and duty to stay-at-home and that would be her only job.

I paused the DVR, turned to my hubby, and said, “Can you believe him? Can you believe Kordell is stuck in another era? Who can raise kids, have a great marriage, and career without help? Is he a fool or just clueless?

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Just to be clear, I think women can be working moms, stay-at-home moms, 50 Shades of Grey moms – or whatever. And with all these options, there should be the option to have whatever help the mom may want or need.

When I find myself overwhelmed, over scheduled, over tasked, and ready to submit my resignation from motherhood, I realize that I’m not asking for enough help.

Amy Morrison echoes this in her post Why You’re Never Failing as a Mother:

“If you think about it, if you had a baby thousands, if not hundreds of years ago, you would have had your mother, all your sisters (all of whom were probably lactating) and your nieces all taking care of your baby. They would help with food preparation, show you how to manage and make sure your baby wasn’t eaten by a bear. Your kid’s feet probably wouldn’t have touched the ground until they themselves would be able to carry around an infant.”

Amy goes on to highlight how parenting, specifically mothering, has amped up and there is a lot to do while we have a lot of other things going on – all at the same time. She points out how seeking help and scaling back are options available to all of us so we can stop making motherhood such a high stakes vocation.

I would love to sit down with Kordell and Porsha for a coaching session. I would have them read Amy’s work, write down their expectations of being co-parents, and define what those roles can look like based on them teaming up to create a family that would work for both of them – not just based on what Kordell is dictating.

I do not think I’ll be getting that chance since I just learned Kordell filed for divorce.

Was Porsha’s stance of being a mom with a nanny (or granny nanny) and career the deal breaker?

 

*Hubby and the kids dump those lunch boxes on Friday and never look back. I get it and don’t judge them – but still, I gag.
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Oprah + Kardashians

Happy Hump Day!

I just got over the hump of preparing tomorrow’s presentation for a group of computer scientists I’m coaching. Yeah, riveting and chaotic.

The work is amazing and riveting.

The chaos stems from me doing tag team child care (with hubby) and working from  home – while my mother-in-law is gone on vacation. (We miss her!)

So…when my brain is a bit full and I need a little break, I hop on Facebook. (Yes, I know you do it, too, but your secret is safe with me.)

I scanned my news feed and stopped and clicked when I saw Oprah’s post about interviewing the Kardashians. What?

Do I watch all the shows related to the Kardashians?

Yes, when I’m folding the laundry.

Do we have a lot of laundry?

Yes, so that means I’m watching the Kardashians – a bunch!

And…in minor self-defense, the Kardashians are a multigenerational family – so that interests me – a bunch!

I liked Oprah’s teaser questions and prompts:

  • I did a full on Kardashian Kram in preparation, watching major shows from every season.
  • I genuinely wanted to know why they have become a cultural phenomenon?
  • Why do so many people love to watch their every move and why do so many others love to hate them.
  • Are they completely ego centered?
  • Are they really “famous for being famous” or is there something more?
  • This interview I’d say was another level of forthrightness and honesty.

I can’t wait to watch this August interview. The thing is, I’m going to have to take my laundry to a friend’s house because our multigenerational nest does not have OWN in our cable line up.

Ok, dish!

What do you think about the Kardashians? Do you love or hate them?

 

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Multigenerational Hollywood {Real Housewives of New Jersey}

After dinner on Monday, I looked directly at my mother-in-law and said, “I’m taking this bottle of wine upstairs so I can fold those six baskets of laundry and catch-up on bad reality TV. If you hear me yelling at the television, turn a blind eye…or ear, for that matter.

She laughed, and I went on my way to tackle the laundry.

Up for review, that night, was the Real Housewives of New Jersey. (Yes, I said bad reality TV!)

Episode 19 involved the Gorgas and Giudice’s getting together for a family portrait.

Check them out, following our multigenerational nest’s lead in capturing the family together.

As chaotic as my own family’s attempt at capturing the best shot had been, I expected the Gorga/Giudice family to have a better time with this task because they have handlers, stylists, and make-up artists on hand.

Being that it was reality TV, at its most dramatic, the lovely notion of the grandparents being able to observe and celebrate their family lineage was upstaged by family infighting, silly competitions overly spray tanned bodies, a recovering granddad with vision challenges, and the Jersey faux pas of sharing of a stylist.

Tisk tisk.

The redeeming factors of this episode were the family bonding that took place over the meal, and a beautiful family portrait capturing a familiar clan that should:

  • appreciate the diversity that comes with being in a family;
  • celebrate the abundance of grandchildren and cousins;
  • acknowledge there is enough space for all types of successes;
  • be able to spread love without being quid pro quo;
  • and enjoy the time they have together as a family, because in the end that’s all we have.
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