Tag Archives: real talk

Confessions: When my husband and I have over lapping work travel, I feel…

Disjointed:  No hubby to tag team with…

Sad:  Gaps between spending time as a couple – and spending time as a family.

Anxious:  Shit! Am I forgetting to make allowances for something?

Busy: Juggle juggle. Hustle hustle.

The need to overcompensate: Kids will be without both parents at the same time– are they being scarred? (Erm…isn’t this why you chose a multigenerational household?)

Tyrannical:  Making sure everything is intact before I go – whatever that means. Lists lists lists! (Oh stop it already!)

Stressed:  Just so many details – mostly self-imposed. (Stop making rules for the sake of making rules!)

Tired: I sleep horribly when hubby is away….still, after 13+ years. (But I sleep great in a hotel by myself.)

Brought back to sanity:  I have my mother-in-law who  is a conscientious listener when there is overlapping work travel.

Grateful: That I have help and support. I can shake off the madness and focus on what I need…and the multigenerational family continues to function properly…based on what WE decide we need.

Silly: We’ve got this system down to a science…and have been working out the kinds since 2007. Why go there?

Understood:  Before Hubby and  I go and when we return from work travel – the kids are just fine. They look at us casually as if to say, “Oh, you’re back from work? Great! Grab a Wii remote! And…Grandma handled things without a hitch.”

FortunateHelping others avoid this unnecessary “here we go again” thought process.

As we were…


37 things you want to ask your in-laws, but can’t… (or won’t)

Hey! Busy time of year – so thanks for stopping back to read.

Spending the past weekend with my mother-in-law and father-in-law has been fun, wacky, energizing, energy sapping, and sweet.

Yes, it was all over the place.

I did a lot of journaling and I came up with a list of questions I wanted to ask – but won’t – because some of the answers are not my business (even though I’m nosey and curious as hell!).

The other reasons I won’t ask are because some of the information/responses would be trivial, it won’t improve our relationship, it won’t right the past, and it won’t move us to the next productive phase in our relationship.

Even though I’m clear on this right now – I can’t say temptation and curiosity won’t get the best of me (especially after some super festive eggnog).

Put in the right mood,  I just might engage my in-laws (separately) with some of these questions.

Below is my list of questions – intermingled with some questions from my curious friends and colleagues – that I would want to pose to my in-laws.

  1. Which grandkids do you like the best?
  2. Why do you refuse to get a mammogram?
  3. Why won’t you use lotion?
  4. Why do you wear that fugly Christmas sweater every year?
  5. Why don’t you pick up your feet when you walk?
  6. Why didn’t you teach your son how to clean up? I’m not his maid!
  7. Why are you all up in our business?
  8. Why do you compete with me?
  9. Why do you compete with the other grandmother/grandfather (my parents)?
  10. Why did you abandon your child – not once -but twice?
  11. Why are you a hoarder?
  12. Why do you refuse the help I offer to you?
  13. Why do you talk to my wife/husband like he/she is a small child?
  14. Did you ever discuss, with “any” of your offspring, the need for moral values or good character?
  15. Why didn’t you talk to your son/daughter about the birds and the bees?
  16. Why do you act like your shit doesn’t stink?
  17. Why do you show up at my house uninvited?
  18. Why do you like me?
  19. Why do you shut down when I’m trying to have a serious conversation to you?
  20. Do you love me for me or just love me because your son/daughter loves me?
  21. Why are you in denial? Yes, I have sex with your son/daughter – we’re married!
  22. Why do you think you’re the boss of my family?
  23. Why won’t you use your cane/walker when you know you need it?
  24. Am I the only one who sees how manipulative my brother-in-law/sister-in-law is?
  25. Why are you stuck in the past? Join us in the present!
  26. Why are you trying to impress me? Just be yourself.
  27. Why do you pretend you were an involved parent when your son/daughter was growing up?
  28. Why do you feel the need to monitor and point out my weight gain?
  29. Why do you continue to fight your son’s/daughter’s battles?
  30. How do you really feel about your son/daughter marrying an American?
  31. Did you ever smoke marijuana? If so, how about having some now.
  32. Why are you in denial about the strained relationship between (a) you and me (b) your son/daughter and you?
  33. How do you feel about your son/daughter being in an interracial marriage?
  34. Why do you eat so loudly?
  35. Why do you openly compare me to your son’s/daughter’s first wife/husband?
  36. Why do you keep pictures up of your son’s/daughter’s first wife/husband (ex-girlfriend/ex-boyfriend)?
  37. Why are you so mean and cranky?
  38. Why has made you stay married? (added 12.19.11 at 10:32 pm)

What questions would you add to this list?