Boxes, and peanuts, and tape – oh my!
Yup, that’s my youngest having a snack, watching TV, and lounging in one of my mother-in-law’s moving boxes.
We are about to have an empty nest.
My mother-in-law is heading northeast this month and the rest of us will head west to California, in December.
How long have I known about this?
Since early August.
Why am I just writing about it?
I struggled with what to say and what not to say.
The move for hubby, the kids, and me is great. New job, promotion, more diversity, and new adventures – I’m thrilled!
The move for my mother-in-law…well, I don’t know what I can say about that. I have never tried to tell her story here – and I’m not starting now.
Why isn’t she coming to California with us?
I’m not so sure about that, either. No clear, succinct, or press release-esque message or response has been provided to me, and I’m not going to push for it.
With this exciting change came a huge wave of discomfort.
Discomfort around:
- finances
- security
- power plays
- passive aggressive behavior
- communication
- openness
- gratitude
- familiar structure
- relationships
Since early August, I feel like I’ve been on this rickety teeter toter of joy, pain, anger, and jubilation. It’s completely exhausting.
What have I gained from all this?
Clarity.
Clarity on what it means to keep family structures positively in place. How to listen intently to the emotions behind the ill-chosen words. How to dig deep and recalibrate a personal lens and shift it to a lens focused on compassion.When to stop talking and let it all play out. How to find internal joy and create space for love in the chaos of change.
It’s been a humbling and lovely experience all at once.
Would I do this all again?
Absolutely – but for a shorter period of time.
Will I continue to write about multigenerational/intergenerational families and in-law dynamics?
Yes! This is a topic near and dear. I greatly enjoy supporting my readers, clients, and community. It’s a full nest will stick around.
Will I ever live in a multigenerational household again?
I’m counting on it!
