Category Archives: Community

Generation Know

Have you seen the latest U by Kotex TV commercial?

I was angrily picking up some LEGOs one afternoon – after howling upon stepping on one – when I heard an older woman say, “We would lose our virginity if we used a tampon.

Uhm, what?

I grabbed the TiVo remote so fast – stepped on another LEGO – rewound the commercial – and paid closer attention.

Oh wow!

Are girls still receiving bad information on this subject?

If so, the pain of of stepping on a LEGO pales in comparison to this.

The brilliance of this ad campaign is that it highlights how myths can be passed down through generations – and that now is the time to uncover the real facts.

I think about women I knew when I was in high school and college who never had anyone but the health teacher or school nurse cautiously explain  puberty to them – and how if the subject came up at home, it was ignored.

I asked a female relative how this topic was explained to her and how she went about explaining things to her own daughter (daughter is now an adult raising two kids). My female relative responded, “I didn’t talk to her about any of it. I just assumed she would figure it out like I had to.

So yes – these are conversations that need to take place – and U by Kotex is taking an active lead.

Media Post News reported the U by K brand manager, Lauren Kren, says, “It’s been about giving girls a voice. This campaign is in line with the essence of the brand.

I agree the time is now. Now is the time for bold steps that empower generations of girls and women so everyone around us benefits.

Is it provocative? Sure, but isn’t that what gets people’s attention?

Khloé Kardashian Odom’s statement also highlights the need for this campaign, “I’m thrilled to continue my partnership with U by Kotex for Generation Know while helping to empower girls. I’ve always been a motivational resource for my younger sisters and hope I can positively impact and inspire other young girls too. I’m also happy to continue to support Girls For A Change which is making a notable difference for girls everywhere.

It’s good to hear Khloé’s multigenerational perspective support this worthy movement.

What is your take on the Generation Know campaign?

Is it totally ridiculous or filling a void?

Share

Email drama {Ask Kanesha}

Hey IAFN Readers!

I’ve  been away a bit due to some presentations, new clients, travel, and all the other life stuff that shows up.

I started a new Ask Kanesha feature and piloted it in a few circles.

The point of Ask Kanesha (yes, like Dear Abby) is to provide a space and place for  multigenerational/intergenerational and in-law dynamic questions and issues to land and be taken up.

I’m hoping to post responses at the start and end of the week. (We shall see.)

***

Today’s question:

My mother-in-law is a good person but she has a very odd way of communicating. She asks a lot of questions but you can’t do the same with her. It’s annoying because this is so one sided and very immature (in my opinion). So – she and I are at odds right now because I asked her about travel plans and she clammed up on me. Then she sends me these weird, hostile, and childish texts and email messages about how I should stay in my own business and not pry. I’m frustrated and mad – how should I proceed?

-Tired of this dumb sh*t

Response:

Dear Tired of this dumb sh*t,

It sounds like your mother-in-law is challenged by open communication. I’m not sure what you asked, in regards to the travel, but based on the information you provided, your mother-in-law may feel judged or under the microscope based on you asking her questions.

When in-law dynamics and intergenerational communication styles are in play, there can be an unsaid tussle as to who has the upper hand in the discussion. Due to social media, many people from younger generations are more comfortable with open discussions and saying any and everything that has to be said. Since younger generations are also used to talk shows (aka the Oprah effect) – they want to have conversations on the spot without missing the opportunity.

Some people from older generations are challenged by this because their mental transitions and values about respect for elders guide their communication style. Even though you (“Tired”) are an adult, your mother-in-law may be evoking the old adage that children are to be seen and not heard. She may also be nervous about upcoming travel plans and discussing the travel with you stirs this up.

You are wise not to respond via text or email. Dave Johnson provides some email dos and don’ts for the workplace. These can be easily applied to the situation you are currently experiencing with your mother-in-law.

I also suggest the following:

  • Send a short response back to your mother-in-law inviting her to talk with you face-to-face. Keep the response short and to the point.
  • Let her know how much time you have to meet with her. This will help to contain any mental “blowing up” of the situation.
  • Ask your mother-in-law where she would like to meet for your discussion. Having a neutral meeting place should keep the discussion on even ground.
  • Be prepared for your mother-in-law to say yes or no to the meeting.
  • If you are unable to meet, let it go. You do not need to get into a power struggle with your mother-in-law about her inability to communicate.

If you have experienced a similar situation, let us know how you handled it. Please leave your comment below.

 Learn more about Kanesha’s coaching services and programs.

Kanesha Baynard Coaching, LLC.
Limits of Liability/Disclaimer of Warranty:
Kanesha Baynard has responded to this submission to the best of her abilities. However, she makes no representation or warranties as to the accuracy, applicability, or completeness of this response. Kanesha Baynard disclaims any warranties (expressed or implied), merchantability, or appropriateness for a specific purpose. Kanesha Baynard, under no circumstances, shall be held liable for any loss or other damages of any kind. As always, please seek the advice of a competent legal, tax, accounting, medical, or other professional. Kanesha Baynard does not warrant the performance, effectiveness or applicability of any sites or resources listed in this response. All links are for informational purposes only and are not warranted for content, accuracy or any other implied or explicit purpose.
Share

September and Autumn

The breezes taste

Of apple peel.

The air is full

Of smells to feel-

Ripe fruit, old footballs,

Burning brush,

New books, erasers,

Chalk, and such.

The bee, his hive,

Well-honeyed hum,

And Mother cuts

Chrysanthemums.

Like plates washed clean

With suds, the days

Are polished with

A morning haze.

~John Updike, September

 

image: mentalfloss.com
Share

Please stop for the school bus

Wowsers!

I had to watch this news story two times to really get my head wrapped around it.

 

Mornings are busy for multigenerational families, well…families in general.

I was a bit shocked to hear the matriarch talk about the bus driver taking too long talking to the parent of a physically disabled child. What parent or grandparent wouldn’t appreciate their child being well looked after once you hand them off to a school bus driver?

And…if this busy multigenerational family knows what time the bus stops by their home – and they do not have time to wait for the bus – why wouldn’t they adjust their leaving time?

Leave earlier or later – to avoid the school bus all together. Revise your morning routine so you do not have to speed out of your driveway – but don’t drive on the sidewalk.

None of us are in such a rush that we have to jeopardize the safety of children.

That’s just foolish!

What do you think?

 

image: mothercopper.com
Share

Woman Gives Birth to Her Grandson

What did you think when saw the title of this blog post?

Yes, sounds like a headline from an unreliable tabloid magazine, right?

When Lara Spencer announced this story on Good Morning America, my head whipped around so fast – I scared myself a little.

I sat in awe and was overwhelmed with gratitude, joy, and amazement – at these two women, a mother and daughter, who worked together to bring a son – a grandson – in the world.

Talk about co-creating!

I listened to Sara Connell (35) and Kristine Casey (61) talk about this journey to motherhood and grandmotherhood in an intimate and determined way that suggested infertility was not a challenge Sara would go through alone – the entire family was onboard, supporting and involved.

I reveled at the openness, expressed by both women, on the necessity of sacrifice to bring Finn into the world. This included setting up a multigenerational household and all the medical treatment.

I cannot wait to read this book and learn more about this journey.  (Book excerpt)

What do you think about this? Could you, as a grandmother, be a gestational carrier for your son or daughter – if they needed you? Would you (adult children) be able to ask your mother, to be a gestational carrier if you were challenged by infertility?

 

Photos: gma.yahoo.com
Share

Toddler accidentally shot himself with grandfather’s gun

I was heartbroken to hear this news story about a toddler perishing because he got a hold of his grandfather’s gun. (video)

It’s so tragic and unthinkable.

Here’s the thing, there are a lot of people – I’m specifically thinking about grandparents – with guns in their homes. How are grandparents practicing the best gun safety procedures, especially with grandchildren in the home or visiting the home?

My parents have guns and I was very clear, when my daughter was born, that they needed to have the guns locked up at all times. I remember my mother being a little bit surprised that my tone and energy about this was on high pitched alert – specifically since my daughter was an infant and I had grown up with guns in the house.

Well…it became confession time. You know those confessions adult children tell their parents – and all the blood drains from the parents’ faces when they receive this new knowledge.

I’m a child of the 70s and I think – without blaming – a lot of child safety discussions, routines, and expectations didn’t not fully exist.

I found one of my parents’ guns when I was child. I looked at the guns. I touched it. I held it.

So…with that experience and now being a parent, I’m totally freaked out about guns not being locked up properly in a house.

My daughter went to a sleepover a few weekends ago. She’s been in school with her friend for a long time. I’ve meet the parents at other parties and they are very pleasant. When my daughter mentioned the sleepover, as we were driving in the car to some big box store, my first question was, “Do they have guns?

Hubby and my daughter looked at me like I had lost my mind. I really didn’t care. I told my daughter to text her friend and find out…or…risk me calling and engaging in an inquisition.

Texting it was.

When we dropped my daughter off, hubby went in and had a brief conversation.

The “sleepover” parents’ responses:

  • No guns
  • So great you asked
  • More parents should be upfront about this
  • Pick-up at 11am tomorrow

If you are wondering about having the gun discussion with grandparents and other parents, I have posted some resources below.

A Guide to Playdate Safety

A Grandparents’ Guide to Home Child-Proofing

Parents Urged to Ask Tough Questions About Gun Accessibility

Talking to Other Parents About Guns

Guns and Playdates

If you have had the gun discussion with grandparents and other parents, how did it go? What did you say?

Share