I made a comment to a coaching colleague that as grown-ups we should “know better” and not have to reorient ourselves, each year, on how to enjoy the holiday season. He laughed at my comment and took me to task on what I was dreading with my own holiday events coming up.
(influx of visitors, picky eaters, competitive check-ins, relatives checking on your weight gain, etc.)
Nothing like being called out. (Thanks P.B.!)
To capture my conversation with P.B., I selected five quotes that serve as reminders on how to:
- stay in your own lane
- speak your truth
- notice the energy you are generating
- really practice open communication
- get out of your own way
Above all, be true to yourself, and if you cannot put your heart in it, take yourself out of it. –Hardy D. Jackson
- Set proper boundaries and communicate them with loved ones.
- Designate a space/area for “time-outs”.
- Shift your energy to fuel yourself.
Accept everything about yourself–I mean everything, You are you and that is the beginning and the end–no apologies, no regrets. –Clark Moustakas
- Do not try to impress loved ones – you are enough.
- Loved ones may have comments and feedback to offer. Thank them and move on.
- Enter into each interaction with the mindset that it will be positive.
Do what you feel in your heart to be right, for you’ll be criticized anyway. You’ll be damned if you do and damned if you don’t. –Eleanor Roosevelt
- If a conversation doesn’t feel right, graciously end it.
- Avoid family gossip.
- Just because we know better, do we always do better?
Learn to live with self and you will learn to live with others. –Edgar Cayce
- Recognize that family time is not promised.
- Stay in the moment and notice the positive interactions.
- Laugh, love, and move on.
The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself. –Anna Quindlen
- Be true with your feelings and desires – then communicate this to your loved ones.
- Teach your loved ones how you want to be treated – gentle guidance works well.
- Doing your best is better than perfection.