One of my friends, Tia Bach, and her mom, Angela Silverthorne, recently had a book published – a multigenerational story for certain. Tia came to our book club and shared that it took 10 years to complete the novel – clearly a labor of love. It is semi-autobiographical but we will all see ourselves, our adolescences and our families in these pages.
ENTER A COMMENT BELOW BY FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 4 AND WE WILL HAVE A DRAWING FOR A FREE COPY OF THE BOOK ON SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 5.
Abby is buckling under the weight of a husband who is climbing the corporate ladder, three daughters each with their own unique needs, a mother who is going off the deep end and family health issues.
Krista is thirteen, battling acne and low self-esteem, when her father waltzes in and announces the family is moving again. Instead of letting fear and anxiety rule her life, she is determined to survive the trenches of teenage cruelty and family issues without completely losing herself in the process.
What neither expects to find is the true essence of magic in the strength, friendship, power and energy of the female spirit.
Q&A with Tia:
Margot Neufeld: How has writing the book changed, if at all, the relationship you have with your mom? dad?
Tia Bach: My family has a strong bond. It could be argued this comes from the moves (10+ moves while I was growing up) and for many years ONLY having each other to lean on, but I truly believe we would have this anyway. It was a very therapeutic experience to write this with my Mom and see her perspectives, through Abby and our discussions, on raising three daughters especially since I now have three of my own. I hope my daughters will read the book and take away some understanding of the mother-daughter bond as well.
My dad is a great man, and although Bob’s humor and work ethic are mirrored in Bob, Bob didn’t get to be fleshed out to show what a true family man he could be. My dad shows it every day.
MN: How did writing the book with your mom change your perceptions of her as a mother? (Reading chapters reflecting the same time periods, etc. but with different recollections?)
TB: It helped me see that she went through a lot of the same questioning I now go through. From a child’s perspective, matching her motherhood skills was unattainable for me because I didn’t see her struggles. Writing this book allowed us to talk about it from a mother to mother perspective. On the flip side, reconnecting with my inner teenager by writing the 13 to 15 year old perspective, allowed me to remember what’s coming for my three daughters.
MN: After writing the book, have you changed the way you parent your girls?
TB: No, but I feel more prepared for what’s to come. Writing this book and all the discussions with my mom in the process helped me define what’s important for raising my girls. I’ve learned there’s ways I’ll be different than my own parents. I used to worry this would disrespect them, but I truly think it is out of respect for all they did that I own what I believe is best for my children in my situation.
MN: If anyone were thinking about writing a book with their mom/dad/bro/sis, what advice would you have for them?
TB: Listen. Listen. Listen. It’s easier to talk about parenting than to listen. Open up your heart to what your parent (or theirs – the more generations of support, the more you can learn) has to say, and hopefully they’ll open up their heart and ears to what you are saying.
Stay tuned for part two of this interview – with Tia’s mom, Angela Silverthorne, coming on Wednesday.