I’m sitting here, alone, in my parents’ house. It’s cool and quiet and I’m thrilled!!
Hubby and my stepdad have taken the kids to the park, and my mom is off running errands and possibly buying my children yet another gadget they don’t need. (As she would say, “It’s just what grannies do!“)
We’re having a GREAT time!
When we first arrived, my hubby told the kids to ask their grandparents for the rules of the house. I chuckled and my daughter looked at her dad sideways and promptly said,
“Daddy, you know there aren’t any rule here!”
My mother quickly added,
“Yes, she’s pretty much right. Not too many rules here for our grandchildren.”
Then I started to think; my kids spent close to two full weeks with my mother-in-law and my hubby’s sister (and sister’s hubby and sister’s two kids). They are very structured and rule driven people (yes – this is very true).
And now we are with my parents who will stop, drop and roll for these two grandkids. My parents will uphold rules that deal with safety, but that’s pretty much it as far as rule enforcement.
So, is this a case of fun grandparents vs. rules driven grandma?
Is this really fair to my mother-in-law’s relationship with my kids or is this not my problem to worry about?
I had not thought about this until today.
Hubby chimes in:
It’s just the way it is (fair or unfair). When we look at the big picture – we all have several hats that we need to wear to make life work and the world go round. Sometimes my mom is grandma – but most the time instead of grandma she is caretaker.
To provide a stable and safe environment for the kids, she needs rules and they need rules. Rules offer freedom and encourage their development. It is different with the short visits from the non-caretaking grandparents.
Side note from hubby:
Our youngest was about to start playing with the POOL TABLE when I asked for the RULES. It was such a perfect toy for a three-year old – with no rules. And I had seen his eyes light up as he looked at the perfect green field laid out before him with a small ball (not a pool ball) in his hand and a truck.
We are flexible and we all want to have a good time, but even a house with minimum rules will need a few to keep everyone safe and happy.